Mom scolds her 10-year-old daughter's 11-year-old friend for excluding her 2-year-old daughter at a sleepover: 'How dare you ignore my little girl in my home?'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 22, 2025 8:00 PM EST

A 5th grader has no business entertaining her friend's 2-year-old sister at a sleepover.

When you become a full-fledged adult, you finally feel like you're able to be friends with people who are significantly older or younger than you. 26-year-olds can easily connect with 32-year-olds and don't dwell on the fact that they were in 7th grade when their friend was a freshman in college. Once you're at a similar stage of life as someone else, you don't have to be so hung up on exact ages because it's less relevant.

There's a reason kids are so much less willing to spend time with someone significantly younger or older than them. The difference between a 6-year-old and a 12-year-old is far greater than the difference between a 26-year-old and a 32-year-old. Young kids play and relate to each other in ways that bore tweens, and vice versa. They like to engage with their imaginations, coming up with far-fetched scenarios to act out with their friends and similarly aged siblings. Anyone who knows tweens knows that they have long graduated from the "Let's pretend I'm the mom and you're my baby" phase of playing. Tweens want to engage with and relate to their peers, and they feel like they'll fall behind socially if they spend all of their social time playing with their much younger siblings. Tweens can't talk to their younger siblings about their crushes or their struggles at school in a way that matters to either party. They can always tell their 2-year-old sister about their gripes about mom nagging them, but if she can't respond, complaining to her does little to build their relationship.

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  • Parents shouldn't force their older kids to entertain their younger kids constantly. Better yet, they shouldn't expect their older kids' friends to babysit their younger kids when those friends come over to play. That's a good way to make their kid a social pariah.

  • A young girl smiles directly at the camera
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Mom is mad that older 10 and 11-year-old girls aren’t playing with her 2-year-old at a sleepover

    My daughter is 11 and went to a sleepover at her 10 year old friend Sarah's house. Sarah, has a two year old baby sister name Lily. Lily, can't speak yet and just makes baby sounds, but wants to hang out with the big girls.
    via u/Competitive-Mess-996
  • My daughter called me, upset, almost in tears, saying that Sarah's Mom "yelled at her", and said "You're not allowed to come over anymore because they aren't including Lily!".
    via u/Competitive-Mess-996
  • I wasn't there, so I don't know exactly what went on, but I know they were playing a game, pretending to be cats, and I guess wanted to kind of just sit and also have some "girl talk" about their favorite cartoons and video games; my
    via u/Competitive-Mess-996
  • daughter and Sarah haven't seen each other in quite some time, so they wanted to catch up and sit and chat. I told my daughter (over the phone), that they should try to include Lily in their play time, and she said "they did", I even offered to come and get her, I even
    via u/Competitive-Mess-996
  • reached out to the mom and said "if it's getting a bit out of hand over there, I can come get my daughter" i'll have a talk with her again. I just spoke with her on the phone and told her to make sure Lily is included. but Sarah's mom insisted everything was fine.
    via u/Competitive-Mess-996
  • My daughter was really upset on the phone. She said she had gotten yelled at pretty good. and when I had reached out to my daughter, she said she didn't answer because "Lily had taken her cell phone and ran away with it.
    via u/Competitive-Mess-996
  • A baby sitting on a couch playing with a cell phone
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I guess at some point the two girls (my daughter and Sarah), wanted a break from watching Lily, to have some time together, and this made the mother angry.
    via u/Competitive-Mess-996
  • Kind of like "how dare you ignore my little girl in my home!" My daughter has only met Lily a few times and doesn't really know her. I don't know what my 11 year old and Lily, a two year old nonverbal toddler can really "talk" about, but I feel that the
    via u/Competitive-Mess-996
  • mother overreacted. I feel like she treated my daughter poorly as a house guest. My daughter did her best to give attention and entertain Lily, but let's be real, she came over there with an overnight bag to visit with her friend Sarah, not to babysit a two year old.
    via u/Competitive-Mess-996
  • Gal pals looking at picture book while lying in tents during sleepover at home
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • If it was the other way around, I think I would've given the two girls their space and taken the two year old to find something else to do. It was ONE night! Sarah's mom, couldn't give Sarah some space from Lily?
    via u/Competitive-Mess-996
  • Do you think it was rude for a woman to host a sleepover for two girls ages 11 and 10, then insist that the toddler be the center of attention?
    via u/Competitive-Mess-996
  • My daughter has an older brother, but has never been around toddler age kids. I don't think that when you invite kids. over for a sleepover, you should expect them to "babysit", your smaller kids, especially one that can't speak.
    via u/Competitive-Mess-996
  • It's my understanding that every game they tried to include Lily in, Lily kept getting upset until the mom got angry that they weren't doing enough for Lily. I think my daughter got kind of burnt out from different baby games.
    via u/Competitive-Mess-996
  • My daughter said they played a game with Lily where they rolled a ball to Lily, and she would go get it, and even tried getting her to settle down with some baby cartoons, but none of this pleased Lily and the mom became upset.
    via u/Competitive-Mess-996
  • I feel the mom was in a bad mood or something. and treated my daughter poorly, and acted extremely immature. I don't think it was my daughter or even Sarah's responsibility to babysit Lily during a sleepover.
    via u/Competitive-Mess-996
  • Cinnamon_berry It's not your daughter's responsibility to babysit her friend's sister at a sleepover. I would be hesitant to send my daughter back to this house because it seems like the mom has trouble with appropriate boundaries.
    via u/Cinnamon_berry
  • Massive-Warning9773 Might be just me but it sounds like the mom is used to her daughter always being the watcher / entertainer for the two year old and was upset because she thought that she wouldn't have to watch the toddler during the play date. It's reasonable that a 2 year old wouldn't be able to do much with 10 year olds. If the daughter was a little younger I'd get it, like 8. Maybe mom just also has unrealistic expectations about them playing together. I personally wouldn't have my daught
    via u/Massive-Warning9773
  • Inevitable-Bet-4834 This is so weird. She wanted babysitters. I feel sorry for Sarah. Her mom is taking away her childhood.
    via u/Inevitable-Bet-4834
  • yourgirlsamus Yuck. She doesn't need to host sleepovers if she's too mentally unwell to handle the stimulation of it. I have a lot of kids and when my 8yo has friends over, I keep the tiny ones with me. Sarah's mom sounds unhinged, immature is too nice.
    via u/yourgirlsamus
  • pinklattess Don't send your daughter there again. The mom thought she would get a night off from her toddler with two preteens in the house to babysit her. Not play, babysit. You shouldn't even have tried to encourage your daughter to include the toddler. Don't have her over their house again for a play date and if she's very good friends with that girl then invite her to your house. If the mother objects tell her your daughter is not there to babysit for her. Stand up for your daughter. This ma
    via u/pinklattess
  • geryarn It's hard to know exactly what went down, but I think the simple answer is not to have your daughter go over to Sarah's anymore if she doesn't want to. I doubt you can change the mom's dynamic with the toddler.
    via u/geryarn
  • Immediate-Ad-9520 Not sure what you're looking for here, but personally, I'd be upset. The mom had no right to yell at your daughter, especially over something so insignificant. I would not allow my daughter to spend time at Sarah's house anymore. If the mom asks why, tell her that you were uncomfortable with what happened and take it from there. Maybe she was having a bad day but she doesn't get to take it out on your kid.
    via u/Immediate-Ad-9520
  • 791957 I think the "hostess" wanted a babysitter and was definitely rude.
    via u/791957
  • protexy No way in hell would I be okay with a different parent trying to parentify my child. This is your daughter's responsibility: be kind and respectful of all members of the household, don't ignore anyone or be rude. Playing with 2 year olds is hard and draining- especially when they are in a mood where everything needs to go the way they have it in their head but they can't yet communicate what it is that they want. It's not reasonable to expect a child guest to do that all night. (Unless y
    via u/protexy
  • IcyGrapefruit5006 Yeah, my daughter would not be going back there again. The older girl would be welcome in my home, but my kid wouldn't be going there. My best friend growing up had two little brothers who always wanted to be with us. We would play with them when we could and occasionally their mom would ask if we could just let them play with us. But if it ever became too much, she would tell the boys no. We never got yelled at. I understand wanting a sibling included, but they also need their
    via u/IcyGrapefruit5006

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friendship toddler kids friends bad parenting babysitting sleepover daughter mom exclusion
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